I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
