For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
