Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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