At least make sure they are 18
Why
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
