you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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