i just had sex bonerless
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
third nipple confirmed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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