I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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