U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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