I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize