3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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