i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize