North Korea, Best Korea!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She bit a glass in half.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
