Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
