third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
