I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
