I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this will be a night to untag.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
