oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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