I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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