I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
