Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I need to sanitize my soul.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
