K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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