So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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