Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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