I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
