Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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