He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
