Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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