scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
