While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if only i could text you this smell
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
