Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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