Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
