No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
