So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
