He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize