He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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