im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
now i know why i became what i already was.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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