I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
