sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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