i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
