just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
