But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
