She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
