wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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