This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize