Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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