i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
