So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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