Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
