guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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