just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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