It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
