WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
