He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
