I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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