She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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