Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
