btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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