He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
