Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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