at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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