i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
