Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
