you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
