God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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