Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you win again, gameday.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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